"How do I look?"

I'm prompted if I'm too slow.

If mirrors wore out you'd go through one a week.

Most of the time I'm convinced you only keep me round to squeeze your zits and stroke your vanity.

I don't take too long in the bathroom either.

We finally go out, when your hair's right, you've got enough fragrance on to choke a brown dog and I'm hoarse.

The clubs are so dark it's really all a bit of a waste of time if you ask me, however you wouldn't ask me.